Loving life

Well, it's been about a year since I last posted. I fell off the "horse" in September and October of last year. Then I took an official break November and December. Needless to say, I've gained alot of weight and have been dealing with it like always - completely ignoring it. I will admit that I did "TRY" to get back on a diet a few times and I did do a random workout here and there, but nothing really stuck. Obviously!

But about 2 weeks ago, I knew I had to deal with this. I was looking through about 100 pictures of our trip to Hershey Park in early August, I was not in ONE picture. The reason - I don't want to see myself. So I thought, "WOW, my kids will have so many pictures of themselves and their dad on our trips, but I will be no where in sight. That's just wrong."

It's funny how no one can talk you into losing weight. You've just got to be ready.

Then when we went to the beach for Kelly's birthday, I'm felt so lucky to have such an amazing family. It was euphoric for me to have such a perfect day. But the next day, I started feeling selfish everytime I ate. I only eat for pleasure. Never for health. I wondered how could I feel so much love one day and feel disgust the next. That's my addiction though. It controls me. Can you imagine feeling beyond full, bloated and still shoving icecream down your mouth because it "tastes" good?! I felt like a drug addict so many times over the past year but instead of drugs it was food. But after feeling such joy with my family on that beach day, I was able to snap out of it.

So here I am - putting myself out there again. Blogging for others to see my little journey of life. I'm not looking back at this last year as a set back, I am going to look at it as lucky to be alive to try again. I am only looking forward. I'm going to motivate myself by meeting small daily goals of eating for health, no binge snacking and making time for the most important part, exercise. It's been only 4 days since I've been meeting these daily goals and I feel so different already. I feel smaller, I feel prettier, I feel happier, I feel energized. I realize that I'm doing it. ME. No one else. I'm facing it again and like I've said before, I won't go without trying.

Victor is always supportive in my need for time to exercise. He has started an exercise routine as well which really makes me happy too. Without him, I would die. With all the love in my heart for my husband, my kids and my family, I will keep fighting.

So for now, I end my blog, 5 pounds lighter than I was to 2 weeks ago when I started.

Slow and steady, slow and steady ....

September Winding Down ..

Another month passes by and all is good.

August was a tough month for me. I gained 4 pounds in 3 weeks. Between catching a chest cold, Kelly's Sweet 16, Florida and the kids starting school again, I gained 4 pounds in about 3 weeks. I was still trying to exercise but with so much delicious food around me, it was not good. I was also finding it difficult to breath properly during my runs with my cold. BUT - I'm back in the swing of things. This Sundays weigh in showed a 3.4 lb loss. I'm very happy about that. I spend all last week focusing on my food intake and went for my run 4 times. I know I am in total control on my weight and it is not in control of me. I felt really good at Paty's baby shower because many people acknowledged my change in appearance. It feels amazing when people say, "You look like a different person!" I tell them that I am different. I am completely different. :)

I'm looking forward to the holidays like never before. If i can keep up my routine and lose 1 - 2 pounds a week I should be fitting into a size 12 by Christmas. A SIZE 12 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But don't worry, I will in no way be disappointed if I'm not there by Christmas, I just like having something to shoot for.
Slow and Steady, slow and steady .

Alex turns 4 !

Had a great time last weekend at Alex's Birthday. I felt great, ate right. I have not had alot of time this week to exercise. It's also been so hot to run outdoors! I did play alot of tennis on Tuesday and Vic and I are going for long walks at night now. My house is still a disaster from the party, but I'm sure the recovery will take place this weekend. Looking forward to August. Kelly's Sweet 16 (Gotta get a cute dress), Floriday vacation (Gotta get cute smaller clothes!!) then, SCHOOL BEGINS !!!

Later all !!

Month 7 ending, month 8 about to begin.

As July draws to a close, I look back at the last few months. How dramatic my body has changed. I knew it would be good, but I didn't think it would feel as good as it does. I'm addicted to running. Every time I do it, I feel alive. I feel my heart pumping, my lungs working, my legs making me fly... Some people say to me, "It's got to be more than eating healthier and exercise! You have to be doing more than that!" It may seem absolutely impossible to some people to see me lose weight the right way. But I'm doing it. I just don't care what people think. It's about my life and the longevity of it. It's about me.

I'm finally putting my health first. I'm worth it. My kids are worth it and my husband is worth it. They deserve a cool ass rocking mom/wife. I deserve to enjoy the rest of my 30's to the fullest and I look forward to my future as a healthy adult.

My total lost as of today's weigh in was 69.8 pounds lost. A tiny touch away from 70, but I know that will happen in time. The scale is no longer my enemy. It's become my friend. I talk to it and I tell it, "You will not bring me down. You will not stop me from trying everyday to change my life"

I'm truly in a ZONE. I don't know how long this will last, but for now, it's working for me. I can actually say that my goal of losing 100 pounds is within reach.

Remembering my first weigh in at 263 lbs. I felt empowered when I decided to change everything. I felt strong. I forgave myself and I stopped being ashamed of my body. Here I am today weighing in at 194 lbs. I can't wait for a few more months to pass and look back at my 7/18 posting and say, "WOW, 194 lbs. I'll never be that heavy again!"

Every now and then, everyone will have a challenge to overcome. Some challenges involve disease, depression or even addiction. My challenge is Obesity. But some challenges involve fighting for your life. I think about Juan's friend Chris who is fighting hard. I have much hope for him to recover. I think of him often and his recovery when I run. I think of his family who must pray for his recovery with all their heart. When people are suffering around me, I have no excuse to not walk or run. I must move my body for them. I must move my body now because Chris cannot. I must move my body and fight for my future, as he fights for his. There is simply no excuse not to fight.

Back on Track!

So yesterdays weigh in was not a disaster! I lost .2 lbs which was a miracle!! I am back on track, exercising everyday again, tracking my food and feeling confident.

It really does help to write about it !!

Later all !!

Week 18 or so...

NNot sure why, but feeling a little "bloated" these past few days..... I guess it's been a busy week so sticking to my normal routine has been a little hard. A party Saturday, a party Sunday and I got a over confident with my snacking and I'm feeling it in my belly. Crazy!! I've been exercising this week but not as intense as normal. I'm a little nervous for this Sunday's weigh in. I still have Friday and Saturday to make good choices, work out hard and stay positive. I was trying to remember the last time I was in the dumps. I read back to February when I pigged out for 3 days while snowed in with a ton of left over fatty foods from our Superbowl Party. If I had given up then, I would not have reached my current weight loss of 58.2 lbs! I remember what helped a lot back then was writing about my feelings on this blog I was able to turn my negativity around and get back on track.

So here I am again, using this blog for what it is. An opportunity for me to "talk" to myself as I type. A chance to hold myself accountable. A chance for me to turn it around. A few bad days will NOT end this journey for me. A bag of M&M's and very creamy pasta will not kill my spirit. My snacking these past 2 days has been quite busy and my hunger irrepressible. Clearly I'm not eating right or else I would not feel so unsatisfied. When I eat right, I'm not hungry. When I eat right, I don't feel bloated. When I eat right, I feel GREAT!

So here I go again. It’s late, I will go to bed with positive thoughts. I will wake up tomorrow and stick to the my healthy eating routine that I have learned and have a great work out tomorrow. Even if I don’t lose weight this Sunday I know I’m back on track and back on plan. And in the long run, that will be what matters, not what the scale says this Sunday.

Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Week...... 16 I think !! LOL !

So today was a great day! My weigh-in showed a 3.2 pound loss.

Ecstatic is the only word i can use. I'm at a total loss of 52.4 lbs and now weigh 211 !!!!

The best part of the week is that I'm starting to jog more on the treadmill. I do a light jog at 3.5 speed and do bursts of 3 minutes at speed 4 ! It's exhilarating. Could I actually run a mini marathon one day ???!!??? I remember Paty came to run on my treadmill once in my house and I was so impressed by her! Today, I was the one doing the impressing! I'm PUMPED!!!

It's great to share my experiences here on this treadmill. My original goal of 100 lbs is not that far away now. Even though my goal weight for this adventure is 163, I know that I will go for some more. I think 135 is a great weight to maintain for my height. I should reach my final weight loss goal of 135 by the end of 2011. We will have a kick-ass 10th year anniversary party 12/31/11, and I will wear a cute tight little black dress. It will be a dream come true for me.

: )