Loving life

Well, it's been about a year since I last posted. I fell off the "horse" in September and October of last year. Then I took an official break November and December. Needless to say, I've gained alot of weight and have been dealing with it like always - completely ignoring it. I will admit that I did "TRY" to get back on a diet a few times and I did do a random workout here and there, but nothing really stuck. Obviously!

But about 2 weeks ago, I knew I had to deal with this. I was looking through about 100 pictures of our trip to Hershey Park in early August, I was not in ONE picture. The reason - I don't want to see myself. So I thought, "WOW, my kids will have so many pictures of themselves and their dad on our trips, but I will be no where in sight. That's just wrong."

It's funny how no one can talk you into losing weight. You've just got to be ready.

Then when we went to the beach for Kelly's birthday, I'm felt so lucky to have such an amazing family. It was euphoric for me to have such a perfect day. But the next day, I started feeling selfish everytime I ate. I only eat for pleasure. Never for health. I wondered how could I feel so much love one day and feel disgust the next. That's my addiction though. It controls me. Can you imagine feeling beyond full, bloated and still shoving icecream down your mouth because it "tastes" good?! I felt like a drug addict so many times over the past year but instead of drugs it was food. But after feeling such joy with my family on that beach day, I was able to snap out of it.

So here I am - putting myself out there again. Blogging for others to see my little journey of life. I'm not looking back at this last year as a set back, I am going to look at it as lucky to be alive to try again. I am only looking forward. I'm going to motivate myself by meeting small daily goals of eating for health, no binge snacking and making time for the most important part, exercise. It's been only 4 days since I've been meeting these daily goals and I feel so different already. I feel smaller, I feel prettier, I feel happier, I feel energized. I realize that I'm doing it. ME. No one else. I'm facing it again and like I've said before, I won't go without trying.

Victor is always supportive in my need for time to exercise. He has started an exercise routine as well which really makes me happy too. Without him, I would die. With all the love in my heart for my husband, my kids and my family, I will keep fighting.

So for now, I end my blog, 5 pounds lighter than I was to 2 weeks ago when I started.

Slow and steady, slow and steady ....